My visit to the hairdresser today was uneventful until the stylist said: "Would you like some product?"
"Product? I said. "Fish paste? Engine oil?"
"No" she said. "Mousse, wax, spray, gel. That kind of thing." Friday afternoon. I honestly couldn't have given a dog's monkey. "Yes" I said.
"Which one?" asked the stylist.
"All of them. Let's go large."
I had no idea what I was talking about. I realised about halfway through the application process that I'd made a terrible mistake. How can hair possibly be made to resemble a partially-constructed bird's nest topped with assorted pretzels?
The stylist seemed pretty impressed with her creation.
"You've ruined my life," I said.
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