AGE IS THE THING

I've just read articles on (a) behavioural guidelines for 'middle-aged' women and (b) one woman's experience of turning fifty. Me, I'm too old for clubbing and too young for residential care. I'm in the right demographic one day and in the wrong one the next. The solution to this unsettling lack of clarity in social grouping is to carve out your own niche. Be it Walking like an Egyptian, getting Lost in France or wearing Baggy Trousers, take a stance. Make your own rules. My own behavioural guidelines are fairly loose. I'll not see fifty again, but if I want to challenge perceptions with my unusual dress codes or the use of Klingon greetings when I'm out and about in Rural Perthshire, well, what? Already I'm picturing myself at eighty dancing to Brown Sugar at my nephew's wedding (no sign of that happening this side of a total eclipse of the sun) and looking completely normal. Sorry, I mean paranormal.