PLEASE DON'T CALL ME

Do I need an ipad? I have an ipod. Do I need an ipad? Do I need a mobile phone upgrade? I know people (only tangentially) who interact with their phones in a disturbingly affective manner. There's a difference, you know, between talking into your phone and talking to your phone. Do you find yourself asking your phone for employment advice? Prefer a night in with your phone over a night out with the lads? Planning a holiday in Southern Spain for you and your phone? Take a step back. It's not normal behaviour, is it. You think your Smart Phone makes you look cutting edge. No. It makes you look like you're one brick short of a full load. Jealous? I think not. I'm far too busy (a)deciphering the operating instructions for my new desk vacuum cleaner and (b) trying to find intrinsic meaning in an increasingly chaotic world.