Whilst hacking down some sprawling great plant in the front garden earlier today, a man walked by and said "You're doing a good job!" I smiled inanely at him, inwardly marvelling at how easy it is to impress people with a bit of focus and commitment. I was demolishing that mother like there was no tomorrow without the faintest whiff of gardening knowledge. Will it come back next year? I've no idea. Perhaps it will grow ugly great mutant tentacles and suffocate the neighbouring rose bush.
Dissembling has its uses in a variety of circumstances, I find. Ambitious for promotion? Simple. Wear a suit and clicky heels.Walk down corridors with a brisk and purposeful step. But above these strategies, always carry a number (4 to 7) of A4 files under your arm. The impact of these combined behaviours will be instant and enduring. You'll be zooming up that corporate ladder before you can say Bullshit Detector. So, to sum up. Exaggerate your abilities. Exude an air of supreme confidence at all times. Never forget your guiding principles: Style Over Substance; Self Before Others; It's Not My Fault.
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