Before I moved to Rural Perthshire, I lived somewhere in Cheshire. I wrote a song once about Ladies-Who-Lunch in that county. I sang it in countless dodgy venues across the North West with this woman I met called Mrs Taggart. Of Irish-Lithuanian-Liverpudlian extraction, she never considered using tact when low-level verbal abuse would do. We'd sing....'my social life is dazzling, I have influential friends. I'm connected to high-profile charities. My clothes are all designer, blah di blah di blah.' The number of times some woman would come up to us when we'd finished and say: "I know someone who lives near me who's just like that." Mrs Taggart would say: "Get over yourself love we all know it's you."
Mrs Taggart and I spent years visiting dilapidated pubs and charmless folk sessions, giving the unsuspecting punters a big fat dose of our marginal personalities and combined lack of musical talent. Nevertheless, we earned a few quid back in those days. We were particularly big in Birkenhead. Artistic differences and Mrs Taggart's constant run-ins with the law led, eventually, to my moving to Rural Perthshire. Cheshire wasn't big enough for both of us.
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