Monday 8 October 2012

ITALIAN LIVING COMES EASY

                                           Before everything went pear-shaped.....

Yes I've been away from Rural Perthshire. Italy, if you must know. 29 degrees C in October. IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT. The locals were wearing knitted twin sets and overcoats. So it was a great week. It would be ethically questionable and legally inadvisable for me to publish details here, but let me say that my flair for Italian opened quite a few doors. Ordering food, buying clothes, booking trips - I made a big impression simply by being a Brit speaking the local language. I was stunned when the police accosted me at a ristorante on my second night and escorted me to a small cell for what they called 'very big insulting talking'. On that particular occasion I admit that the door closed quite firmly and aggressively and didn't open for two days. C'est la viande, as I said to the Officer on my release. I immediately went to a cafe where a young woman came to take my order. 'Signor,' I said, 'a double espresso avec some cream, and make it fasto.'

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