Next week I'm leaving Rural Perthshire for a day and heading out West on the Megabus. Yes friends, I'm going to Glasgow. It's my annual shopping trip for various commodities. I get off at the bus station and, in sixty seconds - really - I'll be through three floors of John Lewis frantically buying up useless objects and outrageously expensive clothes. Those shop assistants (retail consultants to you) see us folk from Rural Perthshire coming. They practically throw the goods at us. Oh look at the country folk, they say. Let's give them some retail therapy Glasgow style, they say. By the time I get out of there, I'll need a couple of strong coffees before I take on Sauchiehall Street. So many shops, so few hours. The list gets trashed. I buy on impulse, and I buy in bulk. When I get back on the Megabus (six hours later), I swear I'll have filled both rucsacs and have sent the rest of my booty back to Rural Perthshire by freight train.
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