Monday 15 October 2012

NOT MADE IN CHELSEA

Even here in Rural Perthshire, we can get the disturbing T.V. show that is Made in Chelsea. Now I watch this only in the interest of research. The paper I am writing, by the way, is called Emotionally Retarded and Morally Bankrupt Social Interaction in a Post Post-Modern Framework. The characters in Made in Chelsea are apparently real people. Look, Malteser, or whatever the hell your name is. QUIT WHINING AND GET A JOB.
To be a member of this dazzling social group, these are the criteria:
  • have a stupid name (e.g. Minky, Flunky or Donkey)
  • display a pathological inability to have a direct conversation
  • throw spontaneous and extravagant parties (e.g. you get new hair extensions)
  • stare intensely at people without communicating anything
If you find yourself meeting these criteria, congratulations. Get on the phone to the producer. Do it now. I'll get back to my research. There are so many upmarket bistros to sample in Chelsea.

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